In my art (and writing and life in general) I try to represent the randomness and absurdity of existence. (I usually fail at this, but trying is still fun.) Sometimes my attempts are humorous, often they are ugly, and sometimes—out of sheer chance—something NEAT happens. Absurdly NEAT-O!
I’m in my mid-40s now. I’ve lost some people. I’ve seen great human beings, funny and imaginative and warm (and sometimes a bit evil, but I don’t judge) who have lived lives, deeply affected those they were close to, but made no impact on society AT LARGE in any recognizable way—-and then they are GONE. Not superstars, never rich, not great philanthropists, not famous artists or writers or poets, just PEOPLE who came and went. They struggled and laughed. Some died way too early, some lived long enough to see most of their friends go before them. And I’d love to believe that they didn’t just DISAPPEAR. That SOMEHOW those great personalities are still out there in the universe, somewhere…
But I don’t see much evidence that the PERSON, the thoughts and desires and scars and smart-ass remarks and weird quirks that make up the INDIVIDUAL—I don’t see any convincing evidence that THESE THINGS survive the death of the body and brain. (I’m sorry, all you true believers, but the evidence is not compelling…)
However, the fact that life is finite doesn’t mean it can’t be LIVED while we are here and have a chance to live it.
Have you ever wondered whether or not someone LIVED A GOOD LIFE? Have you ever wondered if you are WASTING your time? Now ask yourself this: HOW DOES A CAT KNOW IF IT’S LIVED A GOOD LIFE? Is the life of one deer BETTER than the life of any other deer? What is a fulfilling OCTOPUS existence? Have the blades of grass in the front yard prepared for the REAPER as well as the grasses in the back yard have?
One could argue (pretty easily) that HUMANS have the intellectual capacity to CONSIDER these concepts (WHICH HUMANS MADE UP), whereas other creatures, like octopi and deer and cats and blades of grass, do not have the BRAIN CAPACITY. Whales and dolphins have some big brains, do THEY wonder if they’re wasting their potential?
My mom was killed in a car wreck when I was 14 years old.
She took my brother, one of his friends, and one of our aunts to go strawberry picking on the last day of school my freshman year of high school, and she never came home. Apparently, on the drive to the strawberry field, a man, coming off a double shift and traveling the opposite direction from my mom’s car, fell asleep at the wheel of his vehicle, drifted across the center line of the road, and collided with my mom, head on. She died instantly. My brother and aunt where hospitalized for several months and suffered through numerous surgeries to put them back together, but they survived. (The friend was, somehow, basically uninjured in the crash.) The driver of the other car, who hadn’t been drinking, wasn’t playing on a cell phone, who was just working hard to get enough money for his family to live a good life, broke his wrist in the collision. I don’t blame this guy AT ALL for what happened. It was a million to one shot that he happened to float over the center line just as my mom’s car was passing.
Random. If mom had left five minutes earlier, or later—two minutes even—she wouldn’t have been anywhere near where this hard-working man’s trajectory intersected with her line of travel. My life would have gone in a completely different direction. Her life would have KEPT GOING, for a while anyway.
I’m not trying to be maudlin, this was just one of the moments in my life that sent me in search of some HARD MEANING. Why? How? What’s the point of this? What MADE this happen? Nothing. Physics. Two fast moving, relatively heavy bodies ran into each other, and the soft parts in the middle got broken. No plan. Couldn’t have predicted this would happen. It just DID.
Now, I’ve learned to keep moving. (“Just keep swimming,” the little fish sings.) Bad things happen (often to good people, but also to bad people.) You live with it, or you don’t. I found ways to overcome that tragedy. I found ways to overcome many OTHER tragedies. I read a lot. I WRITE a lot, which helps me THINK THINGS THROUGH. I tried to remember how quickly things can change while I was raising my OWN kids. And I tried to have fun—with my wife, with my kids, with my family and friends—and to live a life that all the other blade of grass, and deer, and octopi (though probably not the cats) would be able to look back on and have a laugh.
HAVE FUN—even when it’s not appropriate.
Some folks have shown us the way: the Dadaists, the Situationists, the punks (early “punk” before it become a specific sound or fashion), Fluxus, the Absurdist playwrights and poets, and the many artists who just GO FOR IT (like Ray Johnson, Basquiat, Joan Miro, Roger Corman, Lloyd Kaufman, Ian Dury, Richard Brautigan…), these are the types of folks who really inspire me. They made shit. Not everyone liked what they made (even I don’t like EVERYTHING), but the point isn’t the individual artifact. Not everyone has the skill, drive, passion, temperament, education, or physical ability to be Michelangelo. FEW PEOPLE ARE PERFECT…
But CHOOSING to create anything in the face of a random, nonsensical, absurd universe, THAT is enough. Money, fame, a place in history—probably all worthwhile pursuits, if those are the goals you have—but if what you want is just to LIVE and have a good time, make some connections, forge a few lasting memories, THEN CREATIVE WORKS ARE A GREAT METHOD for achieving THESE goals. The MAKING part is fun, the satisfaction of FINISHING something (even something short or small or silly or awful—so bad it’s good, maybe?) is also pleasant, and the memories that can come from sharing the created work with others, maybe seeing them laugh or smile, maybe seeing them want to make something of their own… That’s WHERE IT’S AT…
The STRAIGHT CROWD will tell you that there are fighter jets overhead. To keep your balloon on a tether or you’ll drift into RESTRICTED AIRSPACE! And I say, fuck it… Wherever the wind blows…
—Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)
https://primitiveentertainment.com/
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
https://primitiveentertainment.threadless.com/
https://www.redbubble.com/people/richardfyates/shop
https://www.facebook.com/richard.f.yates/
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
“About the P.E.W. – Heading into 2018”
As of December 25th, The Primitive Entertainment Workshop went PREMIUM! That means, for the first time since I started this thing back in December of 2012, we are PAYING to be online. It costs about $100.00 for a year of FANCINESS, but it was an essential move, because we ran out of room for NEW STUFF.
primitiveentertainment.com
We are now, OFFICIALLY, a DOT COM! Holy Glagnar!!! I don’t even know what fancy thing to do first!!!
If you are a regular reader of the site (and even the artwork has a literary dimension to it---if you don’t believe it let me know, and I’ll write you a PROOF that my doodles are actually thrilling works of fiction in visual form---even the abstracts!)… If you are a regular reader of the site, then you know we post A LOT. We have several regular contributors, and a few “once in a whilers,” and besides that, I’m a compulsive doodler and word compiler. And with the exciting digital technology that my wife keeps acquiring for me, it’s become extremely easy for me to scribble on a napkin or a receipt or a hunk of cardboard, then snap a high rez photo and color the heck out of it with those magical electro-devices and share them with all the humans and A.I. in the digital world! I draw all the time, and I write just about every day (mostly on scraps of paper or old bits of junk---and then I tape everything into my notebooks.) And, of course, a lot of what I create ends up on the P.E.W.!
But after 5 years of compiling stories and poems and photos and drawings and book reviews and all that jazz, we ran out of room. 5,700+ posts in five years. IMPOSSIBLE, now, to read everything we have posted. We needed to EXPAND---to GO PRO, if you will. So we did.
Now for most people, a hundred bucks is probably not that big of a deal. For ME, it’s a serious chunk of cash. Now that I’m PAYING to make this site, I’ve got to focus on trying to make that investment BACK before December of 2018 so that I can re-up for the next year. It’s only going to take me a few weeks to go over the “free” allotted space on this site, so I won’t be able to go BACK to the old plan without causing weird and potentially catastrophic things to happen.
And that’s where you folks come in. I’m going to be working pretty hard over the next year to try and make $101.00 to pay for the next years’ bill. (It only costs $96.00 for the plan, but I figure making an extra five bucks will help pay for the TIME I’ve invested.) If you believe in free expression, in helping the underdogs, in pushing punk creativity and Dada spirit and underground attitude in the MAKING OF THINGS (Richard Brautigan style---unpublished/self-published type stuff), then consider patronizing our PURCHASABLE sections: Books You Can Buy, the Primitive Image Emporium, Postcards from Paradise, and so on. We could sure use your help! It will keep the creativity rolling along, and we’ll be able to keep doing all the wacky things we do: posting new stories and art and poems, self-publishing our books, promoting creative expression in “outsider types” (like most of us at the Workshop), and KEEPING THOSE CONNECTIONS ALIVE!
I’ve had tons of contributors who have helped sweeten the pot here at the Workshop over the years, and I’m extremely grateful to all of them for their efforts. One of these days, I should force myself to look through all the POSTS (a Herculean effort at this point) and write up a contributors’ list, just to make sure everyone gets credit! (But I think that’s a project for a different day.)
One of the BEST things about creating artwork and writing is the SHARING! The collaborations, the art parties, the bouncing off of each other’s ideas… These are the things that I love about this life. OBVIOUSLY, I’m not making any money at this, but I’ve made friends, some I’ve met in person, some that I’ve only ever talked with online. I’ve been influenced by the stories and artwork I’ve seen others make, and I’ve heard people say that I inspired them. (Comments like, “If he can sell THAT shit, anybody can do it!” are pretty common. Good to know I’m helping people understand that ANYONE can do this!) Sitting in the front yard with a bunch of drawings and paints scattered around, during the summer, and selling a $10 drawing to someone is wonderful, and getting to talk to them about how we (as a family) came up with the ideas for doing all this stuff, is even better! There’s also the thrill of seeing someone SMILE when they get one of my visual puns or when they work out the weird little joke I’ve got hidden in some three sentence story---these are great moments. These are worth it.
THE CONNECTIONS! However brief, however seemingly insubstantial, the connections that I make are the reason I keep doing this. It’s also the reason that EVERYONE should be MAKING THINGS THEMSELVES. You don’t have to be a trained artist to love to draw or paint. You don’t have to be a college graduate to write a story or a poem. You just have to be a human. And then to SHARE that work with others, that’s WHY we are alive. It’s not about making money (although now I HAVE to make money to keep the game rolling…), it’s about CONNECTING. Keep making, keep doing, keep connecting, and I’ll keep going, too, until I CAN’T anymore…
---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)
https://primitiveentertainment.com/
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
https://primitiveentertainment.threadless.com/
https://www.redbubble.com/people/richardfyates/shop
https://www.facebook.com/richard.f.yates/
primitiveentertainment.com
We are now, OFFICIALLY, a DOT COM! Holy Glagnar!!! I don’t even know what fancy thing to do first!!!
If you are a regular reader of the site (and even the artwork has a literary dimension to it---if you don’t believe it let me know, and I’ll write you a PROOF that my doodles are actually thrilling works of fiction in visual form---even the abstracts!)… If you are a regular reader of the site, then you know we post A LOT. We have several regular contributors, and a few “once in a whilers,” and besides that, I’m a compulsive doodler and word compiler. And with the exciting digital technology that my wife keeps acquiring for me, it’s become extremely easy for me to scribble on a napkin or a receipt or a hunk of cardboard, then snap a high rez photo and color the heck out of it with those magical electro-devices and share them with all the humans and A.I. in the digital world! I draw all the time, and I write just about every day (mostly on scraps of paper or old bits of junk---and then I tape everything into my notebooks.) And, of course, a lot of what I create ends up on the P.E.W.!
But after 5 years of compiling stories and poems and photos and drawings and book reviews and all that jazz, we ran out of room. 5,700+ posts in five years. IMPOSSIBLE, now, to read everything we have posted. We needed to EXPAND---to GO PRO, if you will. So we did.
Now for most people, a hundred bucks is probably not that big of a deal. For ME, it’s a serious chunk of cash. Now that I’m PAYING to make this site, I’ve got to focus on trying to make that investment BACK before December of 2018 so that I can re-up for the next year. It’s only going to take me a few weeks to go over the “free” allotted space on this site, so I won’t be able to go BACK to the old plan without causing weird and potentially catastrophic things to happen.
And that’s where you folks come in. I’m going to be working pretty hard over the next year to try and make $101.00 to pay for the next years’ bill. (It only costs $96.00 for the plan, but I figure making an extra five bucks will help pay for the TIME I’ve invested.) If you believe in free expression, in helping the underdogs, in pushing punk creativity and Dada spirit and underground attitude in the MAKING OF THINGS (Richard Brautigan style---unpublished/self-published type stuff), then consider patronizing our PURCHASABLE sections: Books You Can Buy, the Primitive Image Emporium, Postcards from Paradise, and so on. We could sure use your help! It will keep the creativity rolling along, and we’ll be able to keep doing all the wacky things we do: posting new stories and art and poems, self-publishing our books, promoting creative expression in “outsider types” (like most of us at the Workshop), and KEEPING THOSE CONNECTIONS ALIVE!
I’ve had tons of contributors who have helped sweeten the pot here at the Workshop over the years, and I’m extremely grateful to all of them for their efforts. One of these days, I should force myself to look through all the POSTS (a Herculean effort at this point) and write up a contributors’ list, just to make sure everyone gets credit! (But I think that’s a project for a different day.)
One of the BEST things about creating artwork and writing is the SHARING! The collaborations, the art parties, the bouncing off of each other’s ideas… These are the things that I love about this life. OBVIOUSLY, I’m not making any money at this, but I’ve made friends, some I’ve met in person, some that I’ve only ever talked with online. I’ve been influenced by the stories and artwork I’ve seen others make, and I’ve heard people say that I inspired them. (Comments like, “If he can sell THAT shit, anybody can do it!” are pretty common. Good to know I’m helping people understand that ANYONE can do this!) Sitting in the front yard with a bunch of drawings and paints scattered around, during the summer, and selling a $10 drawing to someone is wonderful, and getting to talk to them about how we (as a family) came up with the ideas for doing all this stuff, is even better! There’s also the thrill of seeing someone SMILE when they get one of my visual puns or when they work out the weird little joke I’ve got hidden in some three sentence story---these are great moments. These are worth it.
THE CONNECTIONS! However brief, however seemingly insubstantial, the connections that I make are the reason I keep doing this. It’s also the reason that EVERYONE should be MAKING THINGS THEMSELVES. You don’t have to be a trained artist to love to draw or paint. You don’t have to be a college graduate to write a story or a poem. You just have to be a human. And then to SHARE that work with others, that’s WHY we are alive. It’s not about making money (although now I HAVE to make money to keep the game rolling…), it’s about CONNECTING. Keep making, keep doing, keep connecting, and I’ll keep going, too, until I CAN’T anymore…
---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)
https://primitiveentertainment.com/
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
https://primitiveentertainment.threadless.com/
https://www.redbubble.com/people/richardfyates/shop
https://www.facebook.com/richard.f.yates/
Saturday, December 9, 2017
"Bigfoot (Part 8)" by Randy Long
[If you haven’t read any of Randy Long’s epic fantasy-adventure story, yet, you can start from the beginning HERE. Meanwhile, strap yourselves in. We’re heading back to Randy Land!!! ---RFY]
_______________________
The water from To-Wonga Falls seemed magical. It seemed to give all in our party new energy. I’m thinking the water has something to do with the anti-aging of that world, and To-Wonga Falls was the headway. That’s why the water glows there.
That planet has the Fountain of Youth. Only it doesn’t keep you a child, but it does keep you from growing old.
After drinking the water at To-Wonga Falls, we all emptied our water containers and filled them up again at the falls. We all felt better than we had in years. It had only been a day, but I already had more of a spring in my step.
So we were off to Oasis Village, the high desert village. We hadn’t seen any Bigfoot people in two days. The average days were 80 to 85 degrees, and sunrise was at 5:00 A.M., Twin Phoenix time. Sunset was about 10:00 P.M. The closer we got to the high mountain desert, the longer the days seemed to be.
What I wouldn’t have given for some kind of transportation other than walking, but as long as we had To-Wonga River water, we all had more energy.
We eventually ran across some humans heading west, and they said we were two days away from Oasis Village. One man pulled me aside and said, “Why are you with that Bigfoot lover?” And I asked him what he meant. He told me Tracy was a spy for the Bigfoot people and to watch out. She had gotten someone he knew into trouble.
She had told a Bigfoot about his friend, and from then on, that friend had to live in Bigfoot City and was watched constantly. I thanked him and told him I wouldn’t mention his name. And then I told Ed that Tracy couldn’t be trusted.
He got mad but understood, and he said, “I knew she had a secret. I just didn’t know what.”
I told him that we needed to talk to her. “Tracy, come here,” I said, “We need to talk. I was told that you’re a traitor to your own kind.”
She said, “Now that I know the real truth about what we discovered at To-Wonga Falls, and the Bigfoot people said they were the Ancients… Now I know that’s not true. I know I’ll have to earn your respect and trust in me. I will try by best.”
“Why did you tell on your own kind?” I asked.
“I was told that those humans were eating animals and trying to kill the Bigfoot.”
I told her I understood, and I asked if she was told to spy on us. She said, “Yes, but after getting to know you all, I wouldn’t. I consider you family and know you wouldn’t harm anyone.”
Oasis Village was just over the next rise. It was an all human village in the high desert. As we walked into the village, we noticed that is was huge and had a lake in the center of town with an inlet and outlet streams. The water in the lake glowed just like To-Wonga.
But we were still on a mission, and we talked to the elders, and that night we had a fish fry. The elders told me there were caves to the west, and they had heard there might be someone living there, but they weren’t sure if it was who we were seeking or not.
The next morning, I told everyone to stay there and stock up on supplies. I was going to the caves and would be back in 3 or 4 days. It was most of a good day’s walk to the caves, and I proceeded to look through the caves, but didn’t find any sign of anyone living there.
Well, two days had gone by, and I decided that, on the third day, I would head back to Oasis Town. I went to sleep that night, and about an hour before daylight, I was awakened by a sound. Someone was standing over me and screaming, “What are you doing in my cave! GET OUT! Don’t come back!”
I was half asleep, and I said, “Bill Johnson sent me.”
The man stopped screaming and said, “Do you know Bill?”
I said, “Yes, I do. Bill told me to find you.” I asked his name. Bill told me his name was Kermit the Hermit, and if he didn’t say Kermit, if he answered with anything else, he wasn’t who I was looking for.
He said, “George.”
“My friend Bill says, if you say anything but this specific name, you’re not who I’m looking for,” I said and turned to leave.
And he said, “Wait a minute. Bill taught you well. I’m Kermit the Hermit.”
“Wow! I’ve been looking for you for at least 6 months. I’m looking for the Golden Compass.”
In reply, Kermit said, “Show me the Golden Key.” From a cord around my neck, I pull the Golden Key out of my shirt. Kermit said, “I didn’t know it actually existed. Now the Golden Compass… Well, it’s like this. I couldn’t keep it on me, from fear of the Bigfoot, so I hid it in a dark place deep in the caves.”
I said, “Do you know about the Ancients at To-Wonga Falls?”
Kermit said, “Yes, we all do around here. Oasis Town and the surrounding area. Some of the people near Bigfoot City even know there, but they can’t talk about it. They’re afraid of the Bigfoot people.
I said that wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
“Well, let’s go in the cave and get the compass,” I said. We started walking.
After a while, Kermit said, “I have to warn you, I have a friend in the caves.”
I thought, “How bad could that be?” and as I turned a corner in the cave it opened up into a great big, giant room, and in the corner of the room was a Bigfoot sitting in a dimly lit area. I looked at Kermit and said, “What the…?”
And Kermit said, “Relax, it’s not what you think. This is…well, I call him Ralph, but his real name is Rafe-Gun, but you can call him Ralph. He’s actually the King of all Bigfoot, or he’s supposed to be, but there are too many Bigfoot that wanted to rule everyone instead of the way it’s supposed to be. If Ralph could become King again, like he’s suppose to, the Bigfoot people would be the protectors, not the rulers.”
“Hey Kermit,” I said, “about the---ya know…”
“It’s okay. Ralph knows, too,” Kermit says to Ralph, “He’s come for the Golden Compass.”
Ralph had it camouflaged, but he handed it to me. Ralph looked at me and said in my head, “I need help to get control of my people again.”
I looked at Kermit and asked, “Is he serious?”
And Kermit said, “Yes, and I trust him completely.”
“Okay,” I said, “with the Golden Key and the compass, we can make you King again. We need to go back to Oasis Town, so I can get back to the ones I came with and talk to the elders about Ralph.”
_______________________
[So now it’s getting serious! Revolution!?!? Tune in NEXT WEEK for the FINAL PART of Randy Long’s “Bigfoot” adventure!!!! And if you made it this far into the story but haven’t read the beginning, you should go HERE and read the whole thing! ---RFY]
---Randy Long
https://primitiveentertainment.wordpress.com
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
https://primitiveentertainment.threadless.com/
https://www.redbubble.com/people/richardfyates/shop
https://www.facebook.com/richard.f.yates/
_______________________
The water from To-Wonga Falls seemed magical. It seemed to give all in our party new energy. I’m thinking the water has something to do with the anti-aging of that world, and To-Wonga Falls was the headway. That’s why the water glows there.
That planet has the Fountain of Youth. Only it doesn’t keep you a child, but it does keep you from growing old.
After drinking the water at To-Wonga Falls, we all emptied our water containers and filled them up again at the falls. We all felt better than we had in years. It had only been a day, but I already had more of a spring in my step.
So we were off to Oasis Village, the high desert village. We hadn’t seen any Bigfoot people in two days. The average days were 80 to 85 degrees, and sunrise was at 5:00 A.M., Twin Phoenix time. Sunset was about 10:00 P.M. The closer we got to the high mountain desert, the longer the days seemed to be.
What I wouldn’t have given for some kind of transportation other than walking, but as long as we had To-Wonga River water, we all had more energy.
We eventually ran across some humans heading west, and they said we were two days away from Oasis Village. One man pulled me aside and said, “Why are you with that Bigfoot lover?” And I asked him what he meant. He told me Tracy was a spy for the Bigfoot people and to watch out. She had gotten someone he knew into trouble.
She had told a Bigfoot about his friend, and from then on, that friend had to live in Bigfoot City and was watched constantly. I thanked him and told him I wouldn’t mention his name. And then I told Ed that Tracy couldn’t be trusted.
He got mad but understood, and he said, “I knew she had a secret. I just didn’t know what.”
I told him that we needed to talk to her. “Tracy, come here,” I said, “We need to talk. I was told that you’re a traitor to your own kind.”
She said, “Now that I know the real truth about what we discovered at To-Wonga Falls, and the Bigfoot people said they were the Ancients… Now I know that’s not true. I know I’ll have to earn your respect and trust in me. I will try by best.”
“Why did you tell on your own kind?” I asked.
“I was told that those humans were eating animals and trying to kill the Bigfoot.”
I told her I understood, and I asked if she was told to spy on us. She said, “Yes, but after getting to know you all, I wouldn’t. I consider you family and know you wouldn’t harm anyone.”
Oasis Village was just over the next rise. It was an all human village in the high desert. As we walked into the village, we noticed that is was huge and had a lake in the center of town with an inlet and outlet streams. The water in the lake glowed just like To-Wonga.
But we were still on a mission, and we talked to the elders, and that night we had a fish fry. The elders told me there were caves to the west, and they had heard there might be someone living there, but they weren’t sure if it was who we were seeking or not.
The next morning, I told everyone to stay there and stock up on supplies. I was going to the caves and would be back in 3 or 4 days. It was most of a good day’s walk to the caves, and I proceeded to look through the caves, but didn’t find any sign of anyone living there.
Well, two days had gone by, and I decided that, on the third day, I would head back to Oasis Town. I went to sleep that night, and about an hour before daylight, I was awakened by a sound. Someone was standing over me and screaming, “What are you doing in my cave! GET OUT! Don’t come back!”
I was half asleep, and I said, “Bill Johnson sent me.”
The man stopped screaming and said, “Do you know Bill?”
I said, “Yes, I do. Bill told me to find you.” I asked his name. Bill told me his name was Kermit the Hermit, and if he didn’t say Kermit, if he answered with anything else, he wasn’t who I was looking for.
He said, “George.”
“My friend Bill says, if you say anything but this specific name, you’re not who I’m looking for,” I said and turned to leave.
And he said, “Wait a minute. Bill taught you well. I’m Kermit the Hermit.”
“Wow! I’ve been looking for you for at least 6 months. I’m looking for the Golden Compass.”
In reply, Kermit said, “Show me the Golden Key.” From a cord around my neck, I pull the Golden Key out of my shirt. Kermit said, “I didn’t know it actually existed. Now the Golden Compass… Well, it’s like this. I couldn’t keep it on me, from fear of the Bigfoot, so I hid it in a dark place deep in the caves.”
I said, “Do you know about the Ancients at To-Wonga Falls?”
Kermit said, “Yes, we all do around here. Oasis Town and the surrounding area. Some of the people near Bigfoot City even know there, but they can’t talk about it. They’re afraid of the Bigfoot people.
I said that wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
“Well, let’s go in the cave and get the compass,” I said. We started walking.
After a while, Kermit said, “I have to warn you, I have a friend in the caves.”
I thought, “How bad could that be?” and as I turned a corner in the cave it opened up into a great big, giant room, and in the corner of the room was a Bigfoot sitting in a dimly lit area. I looked at Kermit and said, “What the…?”
And Kermit said, “Relax, it’s not what you think. This is…well, I call him Ralph, but his real name is Rafe-Gun, but you can call him Ralph. He’s actually the King of all Bigfoot, or he’s supposed to be, but there are too many Bigfoot that wanted to rule everyone instead of the way it’s supposed to be. If Ralph could become King again, like he’s suppose to, the Bigfoot people would be the protectors, not the rulers.”
“Hey Kermit,” I said, “about the---ya know…”
“It’s okay. Ralph knows, too,” Kermit says to Ralph, “He’s come for the Golden Compass.”
Ralph had it camouflaged, but he handed it to me. Ralph looked at me and said in my head, “I need help to get control of my people again.”
I looked at Kermit and asked, “Is he serious?”
And Kermit said, “Yes, and I trust him completely.”
“Okay,” I said, “with the Golden Key and the compass, we can make you King again. We need to go back to Oasis Town, so I can get back to the ones I came with and talk to the elders about Ralph.”
_______________________
[So now it’s getting serious! Revolution!?!? Tune in NEXT WEEK for the FINAL PART of Randy Long’s “Bigfoot” adventure!!!! And if you made it this far into the story but haven’t read the beginning, you should go HERE and read the whole thing! ---RFY]
---Randy Long
https://primitiveentertainment.wordpress.com
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
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"Bigfoot (Part 7)" by Randy Long
There were so many animals in that world that they needed to be regulated. Some of the animals were domesticated, and most all the animals were pretty tame ‘cuz there was no threat, from or against. Most humans lived by water there and were farmers. The primary food there was grown, and a few people threw nets in the water for fish.
Highland Town, I believed, was just on the other side of the next mountain. We came around the corner, and at the top of the mountain, there it was! We came into town and were met by the Elders of the town, and we asked if they’d seen Ed. They said yes! And they said he was on the other side of town. They proceeded to show us around.
They were very friendly people. I could see why Ed stayed there. It was a pretty big town for a human residence in that world. One of the elders said, “Let me see if they’re here.” He knocked on the door, and sure enough Ed came out and greeted us.
I guess I never seen anyone so happy to see anyone before. “Hey, good to see you two!” The elders left, and sure enough, Ed had a girlfriend. Her name was Tracy. Seemed real nice. I asked if Linda and Tracy would make something to eat.
Really, I just wanted to talk to Ed alone. Told him sorry he couldn’t go home, but we need to talk. I told him, the Bigfoot people say we can’t leave. “Well, between you and me, I’ve got a plan!” I told him I met a man named Bill, and he told me a story and we might be able to go home, but it won’t be easy.
I started telling Ed about the doorways, and asked if he remembered about the Golden Key I have around my neck. He remembered. I told him it came from the Bigfoot world. Bill told me this world has a bunch of keys, but it’s said there are only two Golden Keys. One was around my neck, and Bill gave me the other one. No one knows I have both, but it’s said that the Golden Keys will unlock any doorway, and might even allow us to go home, because there’s one thing that most people and the Bigfoot don’t know—there’s a magic doorway!
The magic doorway only appears in certain spots on this planet and at certain times, but needs a Golden Key to open it, and then the magic doorway will take you where you want to go.
But, of course, there’s a catch! There’s an old man who lives in a cave on the other side of the desert where a mountain starts and the desert ends. There’s a hidden cave in the side of the mountain. The old man knows when and where the door will appear. Bill said not to let the Bigfoot people find out. He said we would need one other thing, a compass. The compass will show us where the door will be. Bill said the old man in the cave can tell us where and how to find the compass. But above all, never let the Bigfoot people know anything!
We stayed a couple days, and we were all going to leave and look for the compass and the old man. Ed and his new-found friend, Tracy, were pretty chummy, and we asked her if she wanted to come with us. She said she did. She said she’d been there all her life.
Ed and I decided not to tell her our plans right away, just that we wanted to explore the planet more and that she would make the perfect guide. So we headed out of the village: myself, Linda, Ed and Tracy. (By the way, my name is Randy.) I told Tracy we would like to go to the high desert mountains to the human village of Oasis. I was told by Bill that the old man in the cave lived near there, or so Bill had heard. Tracy said it was a long journey away. She said she’d never been there but that she thought she knew how to get there.
So we were off to Oasis village in the high desert. Tracy said it was at least 3 or 4 weeks away.
Tracy and Ed were pretty close, but Ed said there was something about her. Maybe it was just that she was born there, or maybe something different. She was a bit secretive, like maybe she was hiding something.
Well, we were off. Tracy said we should first head to the Great Falls of To-Wonga. The Great Falls are the only place that an ancient statue still stands from the ancient people who lived there before the Bigfoot. This is the only remnant of the ancients left on this world that shows what they looked like, and Tracy said that at the Falls the water glows even at night!
I was real curious to see the statue of the ancient beings and to see what they looked like. We headed southeast through the Forest of Weer. They say the Forest of Weer’s trees are the oldest on that planet. The trees are blue, they say. When the planet was young there was less oxygen in the atmosphere and the trees grew blue, and some of the trees were thousands of years old. They say the largest one is 980 feet tall and over 30 feet around.
The Forest of Weer is the biggest forest. It’s said it’s a hundred million acres. We were only going through one edge of the forest, about 20 miles across. Amazing! Blue trees! Looking up and seeing as far as you can see, to the tops of the trees! There was thick brush and a small trail heading through the forest. It took three days to pass through the edge of the Forest of Weer.
While going through deep in the forest, we seen the blue jackalopes, the only place the jackalopes are blue, from eating plant life in the Forest of Weer. I was told by Tracy that it’s good luck to see blue jackalopes because they’re rare. After leaving the Forest of Weer, the trees became less dense and were back to green and normal foliage.
I noticed that the further southeast we went, the dryer the air became. There were also less trees, and the foliage was changing, becoming more desert like. There were also less Bigfoot people. It was odd not seeing Bigfoot people after seeing them all the time.
It had been a week since we’d run across any water. It was a good thing we had plenty of water with us.
A week and a half since we left the Forest of Weer, and we had three or four days more before we reached the Falls of To-Wonga. One more day passed, and we reached the River of To-Wonga. It seemed a flock of gryphons lived near the rocks next to the To-Wonga River. Tracy said it was two more days until we reached the falls.
Now that we were at the river, we stocked up on water and fish. I was amazed that the gryphons were friendly. They are legendary creatures with the head, talons, and wings of an eagle, and the body of a lion.
One more day passed uneventfully. We got up bright and early the next morning, so we could get to the falls. Finally, around noon, we showed up at To-Wonga Falls. To my astonishment, the ancients were humans. People who looked just like us were the first that ruled this planet!
The writings on the stone statue explained all: the humans left that planet and went through the doorways long ago. They left the planet so the animals would prosper and left the Bigfoot people in charge to protect them. It’s kind of funny—it went full circle. The true secret of that world is that the ancients knew. Humans would kill all the animals, and to preserve the planet, they all left.
Then we forgot that world.
They left the marker at To-Wonga Falls so anyone looking could find out, but it would take a long journey to find out. On one hand, I felt ashamed, and on the other I wondered how we lost our intelligence—and how many other planets did we go to through all the different doorways?
Knowing all of this changed how we looked at the world. We were all a bit more humble, but we still had a mission, and the next day we would be leaving To-Wonga Falls to go to Oasis village in the high desert.
—Randy Long
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Highland Town, I believed, was just on the other side of the next mountain. We came around the corner, and at the top of the mountain, there it was! We came into town and were met by the Elders of the town, and we asked if they’d seen Ed. They said yes! And they said he was on the other side of town. They proceeded to show us around.
They were very friendly people. I could see why Ed stayed there. It was a pretty big town for a human residence in that world. One of the elders said, “Let me see if they’re here.” He knocked on the door, and sure enough Ed came out and greeted us.
I guess I never seen anyone so happy to see anyone before. “Hey, good to see you two!” The elders left, and sure enough, Ed had a girlfriend. Her name was Tracy. Seemed real nice. I asked if Linda and Tracy would make something to eat.
Really, I just wanted to talk to Ed alone. Told him sorry he couldn’t go home, but we need to talk. I told him, the Bigfoot people say we can’t leave. “Well, between you and me, I’ve got a plan!” I told him I met a man named Bill, and he told me a story and we might be able to go home, but it won’t be easy.
I started telling Ed about the doorways, and asked if he remembered about the Golden Key I have around my neck. He remembered. I told him it came from the Bigfoot world. Bill told me this world has a bunch of keys, but it’s said there are only two Golden Keys. One was around my neck, and Bill gave me the other one. No one knows I have both, but it’s said that the Golden Keys will unlock any doorway, and might even allow us to go home, because there’s one thing that most people and the Bigfoot don’t know—there’s a magic doorway!
The magic doorway only appears in certain spots on this planet and at certain times, but needs a Golden Key to open it, and then the magic doorway will take you where you want to go.
But, of course, there’s a catch! There’s an old man who lives in a cave on the other side of the desert where a mountain starts and the desert ends. There’s a hidden cave in the side of the mountain. The old man knows when and where the door will appear. Bill said not to let the Bigfoot people find out. He said we would need one other thing, a compass. The compass will show us where the door will be. Bill said the old man in the cave can tell us where and how to find the compass. But above all, never let the Bigfoot people know anything!
We stayed a couple days, and we were all going to leave and look for the compass and the old man. Ed and his new-found friend, Tracy, were pretty chummy, and we asked her if she wanted to come with us. She said she did. She said she’d been there all her life.
Ed and I decided not to tell her our plans right away, just that we wanted to explore the planet more and that she would make the perfect guide. So we headed out of the village: myself, Linda, Ed and Tracy. (By the way, my name is Randy.) I told Tracy we would like to go to the high desert mountains to the human village of Oasis. I was told by Bill that the old man in the cave lived near there, or so Bill had heard. Tracy said it was a long journey away. She said she’d never been there but that she thought she knew how to get there.
So we were off to Oasis village in the high desert. Tracy said it was at least 3 or 4 weeks away.
Tracy and Ed were pretty close, but Ed said there was something about her. Maybe it was just that she was born there, or maybe something different. She was a bit secretive, like maybe she was hiding something.
Well, we were off. Tracy said we should first head to the Great Falls of To-Wonga. The Great Falls are the only place that an ancient statue still stands from the ancient people who lived there before the Bigfoot. This is the only remnant of the ancients left on this world that shows what they looked like, and Tracy said that at the Falls the water glows even at night!
I was real curious to see the statue of the ancient beings and to see what they looked like. We headed southeast through the Forest of Weer. They say the Forest of Weer’s trees are the oldest on that planet. The trees are blue, they say. When the planet was young there was less oxygen in the atmosphere and the trees grew blue, and some of the trees were thousands of years old. They say the largest one is 980 feet tall and over 30 feet around.
The Forest of Weer is the biggest forest. It’s said it’s a hundred million acres. We were only going through one edge of the forest, about 20 miles across. Amazing! Blue trees! Looking up and seeing as far as you can see, to the tops of the trees! There was thick brush and a small trail heading through the forest. It took three days to pass through the edge of the Forest of Weer.
While going through deep in the forest, we seen the blue jackalopes, the only place the jackalopes are blue, from eating plant life in the Forest of Weer. I was told by Tracy that it’s good luck to see blue jackalopes because they’re rare. After leaving the Forest of Weer, the trees became less dense and were back to green and normal foliage.
I noticed that the further southeast we went, the dryer the air became. There were also less trees, and the foliage was changing, becoming more desert like. There were also less Bigfoot people. It was odd not seeing Bigfoot people after seeing them all the time.
It had been a week since we’d run across any water. It was a good thing we had plenty of water with us.
A week and a half since we left the Forest of Weer, and we had three or four days more before we reached the Falls of To-Wonga. One more day passed, and we reached the River of To-Wonga. It seemed a flock of gryphons lived near the rocks next to the To-Wonga River. Tracy said it was two more days until we reached the falls.
Now that we were at the river, we stocked up on water and fish. I was amazed that the gryphons were friendly. They are legendary creatures with the head, talons, and wings of an eagle, and the body of a lion.
One more day passed uneventfully. We got up bright and early the next morning, so we could get to the falls. Finally, around noon, we showed up at To-Wonga Falls. To my astonishment, the ancients were humans. People who looked just like us were the first that ruled this planet!
The writings on the stone statue explained all: the humans left that planet and went through the doorways long ago. They left the planet so the animals would prosper and left the Bigfoot people in charge to protect them. It’s kind of funny—it went full circle. The true secret of that world is that the ancients knew. Humans would kill all the animals, and to preserve the planet, they all left.
Then we forgot that world.
They left the marker at To-Wonga Falls so anyone looking could find out, but it would take a long journey to find out. On one hand, I felt ashamed, and on the other I wondered how we lost our intelligence—and how many other planets did we go to through all the different doorways?
Knowing all of this changed how we looked at the world. We were all a bit more humble, but we still had a mission, and the next day we would be leaving To-Wonga Falls to go to Oasis village in the high desert.
—Randy Long
https://primitiveentertainment.wordpress.com
http://readadamnbookwithrfy.blogspot.com
https://primitiveentertainment.threadless.com/
https://www.redbubble.com/people/richardfyates/shop
https://www.facebook.com/richard.f.yates/
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