“Open and Shut Case” by Richard F. Yates

The case was open and shut! The Shampoo Bottle was murdered by The Ketchup. We had the smoking gun---HOWEVER, Detective Skipwilly suspected that The Ketchup might have been a mere doop, an innocent victim of a brainwashing plot who was triggered by a third---as yet unidentified---party to bump the old Shampoo Bottle off. A LOT of folks had plenty to gain from the old lady’s death: Mr. Lamp, The Brush, even The Orange Pillow on the living room couch…

Skipwilly needed to hit the bricks and grill his informants… And he needed to watch his back. If he was RIGHT then anyone (or anyTHING) could be out to kill him at this point. He was going to need help, and the only creature he could trust…

…was Lemon Lizard!

Unfortunately, nobody had even SEEN the Lizard Wizard in over four years…

---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Commander in Cheap of The P.E.W.)

P.S. – Lemon Lizard was last seen HERE and/or HERE. The historical records are a bit fuzzy.

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"Flying Carrot" by Richard F. Yates

---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)

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"Library Book Sale!" by Richard F. Yates

Everything you could stuff in a bag for TWO BUCKS! Got Dostoyevsky, Kierkegaard, Ibsen, Umberto Eco, Coleridge (illustrated by Gustave Dore!!!), and strangest of all, one of MY OWN SELF PUBLISHED BOOKS!?!? (Which was in the “Religion-Philosophy-Parapsychology” section???) And a few more things… Mariah found some treasures, too!

—Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)

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"The Gitzy 500" by Richard F. Yates

Welcome race fans! Thanks for joining us on this sunny Saturday for the first, annual Gitzy 500 Challenge! We have nearly a hundred talented drivers here today, some of the best in the world, preparing to challenge their skills and endurance on this incredibly challenging, some might say “ludicrously difficult,” course. Let’s go down to the pits now and see if we can get an interview…

—Yates & Yates (Photo by Mariah R. Yates. Words by Richard F. Yates)

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"A Piece of Paper Trapped in a Bush" by Richard F. Yates

I spotted a piece of paper trapped in a bush
in the rain
It could be love letter
to a heart that will never know it’s cherished
Or it could be a ransom note
for a child who will never be returned
Or it could be a formula
for a disease that will now never be cured
Or it could be a rejection letter
for an author who will never write again
Or it could be a suicide note
for a family who will never know why he’s gone
Or it could be some homework
for a kid who didn’t care if his C+ ever made it to mom

I spotted a piece of paper trapped in a bush
in the rain
And I left it there

---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Grand Hoohaa of The P.E.W.)

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