Dilly was an evil squirrel, a mean and rambunctious squirrel. Dilly would drop nuts on people walking under trees. Dilly would chase other squirrels and bite their tails and laugh. Dilly was always chasing other squirrels, and sometimes he would say, “My name’s Billy,” but they all knew Dilly was the mean one, not Billy.
Dilly would try to push other squirrels out of trees and laugh. You could hear other squirrels say, “There’s Dilly! He’s a bully. Watch out!” He would tease animals and make dogs chase him. He knew dogs couldn’t climb, so he would run up a tree, turn around, and laugh. Dilly had an evil laugh—ha ha and growl. Dilly would steal food and blame others. He was a sneaky squirrel. Any squirrel that knew Dilly was either scared or didn’t like Dilly.
Dilly didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything or any squirrel. He was just plain mean.
Dilly was a risk taker, too. He would climb to the top of trees and jump from one tree branch to another, from one tree to the next. If you looked up in the top of a tree, that’s where Dilly would be.
Dilly would walk the high wire. He would jump from a tree and then to a power line, run across the line, up the power pole, and run the high wire. Way above the streets, Dilly would be. He would cross the road high above, while cars passed by, and snicker and laugh—ha ha growl. Dilly would say, “I’m Dilly, and I can do anything,” and off to find a walnut Dilly went. But why find a nut when you can steal from another squirrel? All his squirrel friends and family were always gathering nuts, but not Dilly. Dilly would always say, “Why hunt when I can steal?” and away he went. Dilly worked harder stealing from other squirrels than he would just hunting down his own nuts.
Dilly lived inside the eaves of a house. He chewed up cardboard from boxes and packed them into the eaves, with leaves from the trees, and he would stay warm and dry. Dilly didn’t have a girlfriend. He was just mean. Dilly was a lonely squirrel. Maybe that’s what made him so mean.
Dilly was a mean squirrel on the edge. Further adventures of Dilly the Evil Squirrel coming soon!
—Randy Long
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